


Final Entry

by SkylerSkyhigh



Category: Original Work, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Thoughts, Depression, Reader Is Not Chara, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader is an Author, Reader is depressed, Reader suffers from depression, Sad Ending, Sad Reader, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Troubled Reader - Freeform, Undertale in mentioned, diary form, hurt reader, really sad, shy reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 15:32:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11489343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkylerSkyhigh/pseuds/SkylerSkyhigh
Summary: A small black book laid on the table of his desk. Plain with a hard black covering and ring binders. A file laid innocently beside it, as if the details inside doesn't matter. He never asked why, but he sighed and grab the book of his desk. He laid back on his chair and began to read. Knowing full well the horrors that was hidden between those covers. He knew what was inside. He was warned yet be braved on.He began to read, page per page, of the diary.Very sad. Depressing. If you have a soft heart, don't read and move on.





	Final Entry

**Author's Note:**

> I had this a while ago and kept contemplating on posting it. It's already finished and I had thought, why not? Warning, this has some serious topics like depression and suicide. Do not go in if you can't take it. And don't cry to me when you decided to go in anyways. 
> 
> This is in diary form. I've wanted to write this style for a while so here it is. Have fun and be warned.

_The writings were small yet orderly. Written in black ink that stood out on the snow white pages of the book. It had no lines yet the it was written as if there were invisible lines on it. With a deep breath, he began to read._

5/3/XX

Dear diary,

I figured since I never use this book, I could use it to write my thoughts since I seem to be obsessed with writing. So internet was cut off and I can't write on WH anymore. Maybe I won't ever. Who knows? Anyways I had to go through therapy in a week and it's on a test day. Whoop-de-freaking-do. I have to find a way to- I don't know, do something? I need to take the test- as much as I don't want to. 

I've been- I guessed stresses, as much as I hate that word. Things are just piling up and I can barely stay calm. The doctor said that in always on edge since my leg can't stop bouncing. Man, this is going to be filled with depressing shit huh? I can barely keep my mind on one track. It's so messy. I guess this is what happened when a mediator is stressed? I- I wish- I don't know what I wish for honestly. 

I've been thinking. Should I go to school? No. No one would like that. I would have have a lot to catch up on. But then again, no use learning if you can't think long enough to learn. So- I'm screwed. I don't know. Should I show this to my therapist later? I can't seem to talk without breaking down. My mind is also in shambles. I can't think- Okay let's stop right there. 

So, cause of stress? I guess school and home. Also the fact that I have to share my room with my sister. I am NOT okay with that at all! I know she can't stay in my parents room forever but I don't want to be near her. I guess it's because I think my room as a safe place. A quiet place. So, having that place taken from me is not well.

_He turned to the next page, finding more words that make up the entry. He was surprised at the expression this person portrayed in her diary. It didn't start of so bad so he continued_

I guess, Should i? It's not a bad idea. I could fix what's wrong with me, but the consequences are bad. I'll get expelled for not going to school. It's not like anyone understands. My mom thinks depression is only viable if it's by heartbreak or something work related. Same with stress. Newsflash, not everything is about love and work you know. I guess I shouldn't expect much- not that they could understand. I am really at the tipping point here. Not getting enough rest, always sad and I'm almost breaking down. Like, how long till I just break into tears? Not long in assuming. 

So, next two lessons are- by far- the least tolerable. I guess it's what's giving me the most stress- or in the words of sans- a bad time. I don't like being ignored but i'd rather be ignored than be called. It would make sense since I'm the weakest at it. Let's just say, I lost my bravery. I can't even talk without being scared. My voice just caves and I just speak. 

Man this is long. I guess my thoughts are a mess. Like my handwriting. I guess it's my way of talking. I want to do something for once. Not hard but simple things. Like reading under a tree at a park omit a cloudy day. Listening to music without any distractions. I love someplace, mother completely silent but quiet. Calm and quiet. Like my room. I need someplace to myself. SomePlace where no one could disturb me. But after my room is taken, where could I go to find someplace calm? The Storeroom? It's quiet. I really want my parents to understand. They need to understand how- I want them to understand how difficult it is to be like this. Everyone can be depressed. It may not be because of heartbreak or lack of parents, But it's serious nonetheless. 

I guess I could talk about last night. As usual, I didn't sleep until 1 am and I keep waking up at 4 - 5 am. It- I don't know what to say about it. I have bags under my eyes. It's not that visible but it's there. It's pretty hot today, contrast to the freezing temperature of yesterday. I have a really bad cravings for junk food and I want to go out yesterday. I guess I'm more active when it's cold. 

I've already written three pages in one day. I want internet! I want to write my stories! I wonder what will I write in this. Mostly depressing stuff like my other book. I guess it's my way of releasing pent up sadness and anger. It's not like anyone cares. Parents are too busy, siblings are too young. I am and will be alone. I'll deal with it. 

Writing to past the time. Maybe I can talk about Lost One's Weeping. That song is pretty cool an heavy. It reflects on that school tresses student to do well. But not everyone can fit the bill. The stress will/is too much for many to handle. I guess it no wonder I like that song. It kinda reminds Mr of my stress. Same with rolling girl. It's also catchy and it talks about bullying. Not like me but it's good. I'm really into deep meaning music aren't I? Good to know that I still love writing. It's kinds the only way I could express myself. All my other hobbies failed me. Mostly due to people not agreeing with it. I want to keep writing. It's the only thing that feels right. 

Oh yeah, vocaloid. there's a thing called sansaloid. A vocaloid cover with Sans' sound. It's so cool. I wish I was sans. Smart, kind, funny and easy going. It's no wonder why fangirls love him. I really wish i had friends. Maybe not. I love to be alone because I can think and imagine. But people pretend that I don't exist. It's not my fault i gave up trying to socialize. Wont it be nice to have someone defend you for what you did? I know it's wrong but having support feels good. Well, I'm going home. See ya. 

_And the entry stops there. He sighed and closed the book. This person is so sad yet it seems like no one cares. He shakes his head and puts the book in his desk drawer. It's late. He'll continue to read tomorrow._

_And with that, he leaves for the night._

**Author's Note:**

> Still here? What do you think? Let me know if you need any clarification about this story. And with that, I see ya soon.


End file.
